Mental Health is tough. Practicing self-care is tough. One of my intentions about this blog is to feel safe about sharing my feelings and thoughts with you guys. So let's dive into this blog post, that's a little deeper than most.
I have anxiety. It's totally manageable and most people deal with anxiety in their everyday lives. If one has a big test coming up, or a project at work, you might feel anxiety about performing well. But- what if nothing anxiety-ridden is happening and you still feel panicked? That's how I feel on a daily basis. I'm not asking for pity, but I do want to talk about my mental health journey and some coping mechanisms that have helped me feel so much more in control of myself. This year has been tough. I transferred schools, dealt with an eating disorder, and had to come at peace with the fact that I have panic attacks. I soon started realizing that food wasn't a bad thing. I can enjoy it, treat myself when necessary and not punish myself with my food intake. When I started getting panic attacks, I thought the world was ending. I would cry and think that I was the worst person in the universe. I quickly figured out that something wasn't right and sought help. There is absolutely no shame in asking for and needing help. I went to my counseling office on campus and got paired with an amazing counselor who helped me with coping mechanisms. I started running because I actually enjoy it, not as a coping mechanism for what I ate. I realized that I am allowed to eat whole foods and drink lattes and not hate myself for it. I started listening to podcasts for anxiety, talking to friends, and overall getting a handle on my life. Yes, mental health issues are real. Eating disorders are not glamorous. Anxiety is not glamorous. I am allowed to feel and love and respect my body. I believe in the good and being an advocate for these tough issues. I believe in all of us being radiant beings of light. Life is tough, but, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, I'm tougher.